[ARCHIVED] IC-inbox

[cantacquityou]

...This is a general post for Paradisa residents, should anyone wish to harass visit or contact Edgeworth ICly. If you are not from Paradisa (I.E., from another game/dressing room, etc), you are welcome to interact with Edgeworth via his Hotel Room. 

 LOLNOPE. Edgey has a new inbox now. Go there.

Room at various angles.

...Because Edgeworth is very well-off, there will be no question that he will request as much from the castle as he can to feel 'at home.' Therefore, his room will be inspired by a room of one of his favourite hotel suites - the Hazlitts in Soho, London. The hotel room is a bit smaller than it appears in the picture, but is extremely richly furnished and decorated. However, with opulence comes a price, as usual, and because of Edgeworth's fastidious tastes, the castle will inflict upon him at least one temporary loss per month. Unbeknownst to Edgeworth, of course.

At any given time, there will be a book or two on the bed, and others placed sporadically at various crevasses within the room.  There is another, smaller partition of the room containing a couch, small table, and chair. There are a pair of small speakers, a heated blanket, a small fridge with at least two wine bottles, and a heating apparatus that doesn't emit microwaves. There's also a burgundy/blue chess set. There's no television, no futon, and of course, no Oldbag . There is a black box on the desk that requires not only a key to be opened, but a sliding puzzle to be solved. There's also a medium-sized kitchen. The bathroom is nothing particularly fascinating, as he doesn't spend enough time in there to feel the need to expend too much effort in decorating it, and it is much smaller than one may expect after seeing the room. There is, however, a clean bathtub lined with a few red/gold, unused candles.









See the chess piece? Definitely Edgeworth's room.

The kitchen is similar to this, but quite smaller:



 

 

Comments

[takethat]

I think you've always struck me as the kind of person who does say the opposite of what you want. I mean... "get out of my office" couldn't have really meant that, or you'd have had Gumshoe or somebody throw me out by force.

[cantacquityou]

Oh, Mr. Wright... What an appalling misjudge of character! You should know very well that I generally mean what I say. To do otherwise would be ...untruthful, would it not? Simply because I won't go to such great lengths as to summon Detective Gumshoe from wherever he happens to be just to throw you out of my office, does not make me any less annoyed. And here I thought you knew me better than that... Frankly, I'm rather hurt. Then again, I thought throwing things at you would have clearly gotten the point across...

[takethat]

So basically you're telling me that one of my major reasons for continuing to try with you in the past--being that I thought you were lying when you said you wanted me to go away--is full of crap and you really did want me to go away?

How comforting. Thanks a lot.

[cantacquityou]

I was specifically referring to being bothered while at work, not overall. I'd think it's perfectly acceptable to ask that of under such circumstances.

[takethat]

I was referring to the same thing you were referring to.

[Sigh. This is one reason why he doesn't want to talk to Edgeworth anymore--these constant arguments, so unnecessary now that there's no courtroom to have them in, and the persistent lack of listening... He plunks his forehead against the journal and groans. headdesk]






Let's just not do this anymore.

I would write more on his train of thought...but...phone :/

[cantacquityou]

Do what, exactly?

[takethat]

This constant hurting each other, back and forth like we always do. I'm tired of it and I'm sure you are, too. I don't think it's possible for both of us to be happy at the same time.

[cantacquityou]

[Persistent lack of listening... Rather, persistent misconstruing of intent and constant misunderstanding... It's harrowing. And Edgeworth fears he may never truly absolve himself in Phoenix's eyes what with his tendency to translate his better intentions negatively ...and though they and their opinions generally differ like night and day...]


...I was thinking the very same thing.

[takethat]

...well, we agree on something.

[A pause; he has to drag the words out of himself]

Then it seems like the only viable course of action is to stop spending time with each other, unless of course you have a better suggestion.

[cantacquityou]

Suggestion-wise...? I cannot recall the last time I have ever been at such a loss.

[takethat]

...then I guess that's settled.

[cantacquityou]

[The pregnant pause that followed weighed heavily upon Edgeworth. This situation was far from ideal in any case, but should his suspicions hold water, then there probably isn't any better way at the very moment. However...what if he was wrong, as he had hoped? Would this be worth it? Is this worth the risk of losing the only one person in the world in whom he places unequivocal trust? Though his insides twisted painfully with the need to object to this idea, for Phoenix's sake more so than his own, he thought that it would have been best should the other man refrain from getting too close to him, having already overstepped his own self-imposed boundaries as is.

Deterring Phoenix from him, how ever the method, was for Phoenix's own protection...

...or so he thought.

It summons every ounce of fortitude in his being at the moment to be able to choke out three, simple words...]











As you wish.

[takethat]

[The slightest, strangled little noise erupts from his mouth before he can stop it, and he clenches his teeth to keep it from happening again. Bad enough he's crying on the other side of that journal; Edgeworth doesn't need to know it.

And he doesn't know what he should do. Every figurative step he takes toward Edgeworth hurts, but he's never let those stings and bruises stop him in the past; why is it that he's considering doing so now?

Isn't that the right thing to do, though? Edgeworth's happiness is the most important matter to consider here; if Phoenix can do nothing else for him--if he can't hold him and dote on him and spend all his time with him like he'd like to--then at least he can be sure that his parting decision makes Edgeworth happy. Although the mixed messages ("I can't stand being with you," wasn't it, just some weeks before all this mess of "I like having you around"?) are making it impossible to tell what he really should do.

And so, he makes no decision. He just sits there, wishing Edgeworth would just materialize and hug him again like he did that night in the bar; he sits silently except for his pained outcry and perhaps a few shaky breaths, biting his lip as hard as he can to try to stop the tears from falling.

It seems to be "all over," after all.]

[cantacquityou]

I-....I am so sorry, Wright...


[..."It's for your own good." Is that what he was going to say? Because for some reason, he really wasn't so sure now. As his own eyes stung, he tried to force a few more words-...]


I truly don't want to--...


[...but no. Then they'd probably have to go back on their word. It didn't stop the fact that something deep within him was begging for the possibility of this passing over soon, and that they'd be able to get back to being close after having their own his own, mostly personal issues sorted. He just fervently hoped that Phoenix would allow for it in that time.

...If not, he'd convince himself that he deserved it, and that it's just part of a recurring trend in his sad existence.]


I wish there was something I could...

...


[He inhaled shakily.]




Just take some time to think on it all. Please.

[takethat]

[He pulls in a few deep breaths to still his voice, sure that it's going to tremble when he talks again; it does, despite his efforts.]

If... that's what you want.

I just want to do what you want.

[There's so much more he'd like to say here, but the certainty that it would make Edgeworth run far away and never come back to him keeps him from it.

"There is something you could do."

"I don't have to think about it; I never want to leave you, not really."

"I asked you for other suggestions. Why didn't you offer anything if you really don't want me to stop talking to you?"

But he voices none of these as he sits, crumpling a page of the journal in his fist out of nerves, careful not to tear it out even so. Really, there's very little he feels safe saying, except one thing, laden with all the burdensome emotions weighing on his heart and yet almost silly in its innocence.]




I still really like you, Miles.

[cantacquityou]

...That is the problem. Because...





[He knows that it is perhaps not the best thing to say considering his motive of...'protecting' Phoenix from him, but for one of those rare times, he acts out of impulse - this time, fully cognizant that he may regret the consequences of his action. He didn't care much about that right now...he simply wished that Phoenix may recall his own words as strongly as they imprinted upon him weeks ago:]











...'for some ungodly reason, I really like you,' too.

[takethat]

Ah... Miles...

[Were Edgeworth there in person, he would likely pick up on the flash of hope glimmering for a moment there in Phoenix's eyes as he glances at the journal, disbelieving what he's hearing.

He'd all but forgotten ever saying that to Edgeworth, but the repetition of his own words jars his memory. And briefly, he has to wonder if Edgeworth's meaning behind those words is the same as his own, unknowingly, was when he spoke them in the past.

The urge now to dissolve into tears and beg Edgeworth to just forget all of this ever happened is strong. It's some testament to his own self-improvement, or perhaps his surprise, that he doesn't do either of those things.]




Maybe we could... just... maybe there's a better way to solve this... I don't want to stop talking to you. I really don't.

[cantacquityou]

...What we want may not necessarily be what is best, Wright. As adults, I am sure we both understand that by now.



Just...please. At the very least, take some time to think on it all.

[takethat]

[And, as is so terribly common now, Phoenix feels as though he might as well have been stabbed in the heart by Edgeworth's words. The hope once again gone and the pain returning in full force after having salt poured on that emotional wound, he slams his fist against the journal.]

Damn you, Miles! Do you get off on building me up just to destroy me again like that? You know I care about you--stop playing with my emotions and make up your mind, please!

[At this point, he doesn't care how much he's giving away by that request, so desperate is he for Edgeworth to understand something of all this... ...nor is he really thinking of what he says before he spits it out.]

[cantacquityou]

Phoenix...


[Edgeworth isn't as emotionally set back as one may think, and he has been picking up on things over time, coming to notice quite a few 'something's...

...It's what he desperately doesn't want to believe that is the problem.]


I am not asking you to stop talking to--...[His breath hitches.]


...I am merely requesting that you think on a few things a bit more.


N-no further implications therein...


...Please?

[takethat]

...no matter how you word it, it means "get out of my life and leave me alone," doesn't it?

[Now, his hands itching for something destructive to do, he's methodically snapping in half a few pencils that he's found haphazardly littering his desk.]

At least you made up your mind. At least I'm going to take this at face value and not waste my time wondering if you mean it or not.

[To Phoenix, this is enough of a "no thank you" to his hopeful romantic endeavors. While it may not have been addressed as such, he still feels that's what's happened, here.








And when he is out of pencils, he sinks back into his desk chair, feeling as though his limbs are made of lead and wishing his heart was.]

I won't be bothering you again. If you ever decide you want me for anything, you know where to find me.

[cantacquityou]

Please, wait.


...That was exactly the opposite of what I was...trying to say.


I...I merely asked you to reflect on a few things. Whether you believe it best to be away from me or not within that time is up to you.

[He breathed a heavy sigh before continuing.]

Wright... It is beyond me to adeptly express how I feel about this...or...nearly anything, for that matter. But once again, I assure you - if I had truly wanted you to "get out of my life and leave me alone," I would have stated that plainly. I generally mean what I say, whether you choose to believe it or not. Furthermore, when I do say something, it is usually following the result of a lot of deliberate consideration.

I meant it when I said, 'no further implications,' and... I ...also meant it when I described how I feel about you.


I don't think I could possibly explain to you how incredibly ...strange and unsettling ...this all is to me. I have to make sense of ...a lot of this, myself. Please...bear with me.


[There is a rare desperation in his voice, though he tries his damnedest to mask it.]



If you feel that you cannot, then... I couldn't possibly blame you for it. I'm used to it.

[takethat]

There isn't any need to pull a guilt trip on me. You should know by now I can't stay away from you for long anyway.

[He's still a bit irritable, yes, but he takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair, trying to make heads or tails of everything Edgeworth has said.

What does he want to hear this time?]






I guess you mean what you say in such a literal way that you can't really comprehend someone taking it how it sounds within the context. I'm sorry, Miles--most communication doesn't work your way, and although I've been learning 'Edgeworth' for a few years now, I'm still not fluent.

[A sigh; he's still calming himself from his outburst.]



...you aren't the only one who feels strange and unsettled, lately. I'm not trying to compete with you... I just want you to know it's not just you.

In any case, I'm going to lie down and do some of that thinking you're insisting on. My apologies for all the trouble I've caused you yet again tonight.

[cantacquityou]

["Guilt trip," he says.]

[ Edgeworth curses himself inwardly for taking an honest attempt to make himself sound stronger and more capable of dealing with the issue and turning into a what would have sounded to anyone as a sorry, pity-seeking expression. From the moment many of those words escaped his lips, he was regretting them - certainly, expressing himself without his usual meticulous planning was not his forte. Therefore, he'd have to do so in a way within his style of doing things, perhaps that's the next logical step, he thought...

...And it will take some planning.]






Alright. I-...erm....likewise.

[takethat]

Goodnight, Miles.

[He shuts the journal, then, making sure to do so gently enough that it won't be misconstrued as a slam, and yet still firm enough to get across the point that he's been "disconnected," so to speak, from the conversation.

And when the journal is closed and Edgeworth is no longer able to hear him, he gets up from his desk, locks the door to his room and shuts his window so as not to be caught in his moment of great weakness, and flings himself onto his futon on the floor, covering his head with his blanket and sobbing desperately into his pillow.

He would be thoroughly disgusted if anyone ever witnessed this, but alone he's wiling to let everything out in a tirade of wailing muted by the pillow and blanket. Distantly, he realizes now that he cannot hope to continue lying to himself about his feelings for Edgeworth; they're very real, very powerful, and at the moment, immensely painful.

No, there is no more lying to himself left to do, but plenty of lying to others... especially Edgeworth. What a horrible situation he's found himself caught up in.]